——所以你覺得他們結婚是好事……但你沒覺得我們一直沒結婚其實很違背自然常理么？ Well，so you think it’s great that they’re getting married …but you don’t ever feel like we’re going against nature ，or something…by not getting married？ ——不，違背自然常理是指貓咪給猴子喂奶。而我們只是恰巧沒有結婚而已。讓我告訴你吧，結婚的人都不可靠。 No，going against nature is like the cat who suckled that monkey 。you and I are just two people who happen not to be married。Let me tell you something，people who get married are not be trusted. ——確實不可靠，你知道為什么嗎？因為如果你真的覺得幸福，老實說……你就不需要去做場結婚秀來展示。你也不需要宣揚。他們之所以這樣做，是沒有安全感……他們覺得結婚是必須做的事。他們騙了自己也騙了他人。? They’re not 。 you know why ？because if you so legitimately happy ，honestl…you wouldn’t feel the need to make a big show out of it。You wouldn’t have to broadcast it 。they do it because they’reinsecure…and they think getting married’s what they’re supposed to be doing。So they’re lying to themselves and to other people. ——如果一個男人沒給我打電話，我有權每15分鐘給他打一次電話，直到他接為止。但是如果他看到是我的號碼……他就會覺得我有毛病，但我不是。 If a guy doesn’t call me ，I would like to reserve the right to call him at 15-minute intervals until he picks up 。but if he looks down and sees my numbers …he’s gonna think I’m some kind of pasycho or something，which I’m not. ——conor 不會打電話給你的。 Conor’s never gonna call you。 ——真的么，你怎么知道的？ ? ? ?? Oh，really。How do you know？ ——因為我也是個男人，這就是我們的方式。 Because I’m a guy ，and it’s just how we do it。 ——他說了跟我見面很開心。 He said it was nice meeting me 。 ——不管他是不是跟你說，你就是……除了他媽和Joanie Cunningham 之外……他心中最理想的女性。已經過了一個星期，Gigi他都沒用打給你， I don’t care if he said you were hes favorite female since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham. Over a week went by ，okay，Gigi，？and he didn’t call you . ——但是也許他真的打了，我只是沒有收到留言而已. 或者也許他把我的號碼弄丟了……或者他出城了，或者被出租車撞了，或者他外婆死了。 But maybe he did call and I didn’t get the messag. Or maybe he lost your number，or he’s out of town ，or got hit by a cab ，or his grandma died ——或者他沒有打給你，僅僅是因為他沒有興趣再見你了。 Or he didn’t call because he has no interest in seeing you again。 ——是么，但我朋友Terri 有次跟個從都不來電話的男人出去，她把他給甩了，一年之后，她撞見了他，最后他們…… Yeah，but my friends Terri once went out with a guy who never called. She totally wrote him off，over a year by ，right，she ran into him ，and it ended up that… ——你朋友Terri是個傻瓜，她也是個例外……順道提一句，是很少很少的例外。 Your friend Terri’s an idiot. She’s also the exception…by the way ，the rare exception.? ——好吧，好吧，但是萬一我也是例外呢？? Okay ，okay，but what if ?I’m the exception？? ——不，你不是，你一點都不是，事實上，你就是個常規案例。常規情況就是，如果一個男人不打電話給你，因為他不想打電話給你。? No，you’re not. You’re not at all. n fact，you’re the rule。And the rule is this：if a guy doen’t call you ，he doen’t wanna call you. ——我知道男人怎樣做是在擺脫女人，好吧？我剛才還做過，家常便飯了。所以相信我，如果一個男人對待你的方式就像他毫不在乎一樣，那么他真的是完全不在意你的，沒有例外。? Look，I know what blowing off a woman looks like，okay？I do it early ，I do it often. So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn’t give a shit…he genuinely doesn’t give a shit，no exception. ——我們不能聽那些故事了。常規就是對你不忠的男人，根本就不把你當回事。 We have to stop listening to these stories。The rule is that guys who cheat on you don’t care about you much.? ——我所有朋友都曾告訴我這樣的故事，在那些狗屎事件發生后，事情還能進展得很順利。因為她們認識某個跟我一樣遇到狗屎男的女人，而那個女人最后還結了婚，生活得很幸福。但那些都是例外，我們不是例外，我們是常規案例。? And all of my friends used to tell me stories about how things minght work out with these dipshits，because they knew someone who dated a dipshit like mine，and that girl ended up getting married。But that’s the exception ，we’re not the exception，we’re the rule.

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