【学习笔记】斯坦福SCI写作课 Unit 1
Writing in the Sciences——Kristin Sainani from Stanford University
Unit 1: Introduction; principles of effective writing
Module 1.1 Introduction
什么才能算好的寫(xiě)作？
1.邏輯性：清楚表達(dá)觀點(diǎn)； 2.文字能力：語(yǔ)言?xún)?yōu)美，格式規(guī)范
怎樣才是好的作者？可習(xí)得的
1.言之有物；2.邏輯性；3.科技文的規(guī)范和要點(diǎn)（本文所學(xué)）
而不是：天賦；英語(yǔ)文學(xué)功底；藝術(shù)填寫(xiě)；酒精和毒品刺激；靈感
除了本課，還可以通過(guò)以下額外練習(xí)，成為好的作者：
1.閱讀大量好的文章，并模仿
2.寫(xiě)日記
3.拋棄論文寫(xiě)作的壞習(xí)慣，后續(xù)課程會(huì)詳細(xì)教學(xué)
4.動(dòng)筆之前，先口頭表述，整理清楚
5.不要寫(xiě)得讓讀者厭倦
6.不要等待靈感，寫(xiě)論文是一項(xiàng)熟練的工作，任何時(shí)候都可以開(kāi)始
7.寫(xiě)作對(duì)任何人都難，不是只對(duì)你難，不要?dú)怵H
8.論文需要反復(fù)修訂，不可能像隨筆寫(xiě)出來(lái)就完美，也不要因?yàn)檫@種想法將大量時(shí)間浪費(fèi)在文字表達(dá)上
9.刪繁就簡(jiǎn)
10.找個(gè)人做你的編輯，看TA的評(píng)價(jià)來(lái)修改或者讓TA幫你修改
11.敢于冒險(xiǎn)，不要拘泥，擁有自己的寫(xiě)作風(fēng)格
Module 1.2 Examples of what not to do
作者：我不是特指你，我是說(shuō)在坐每一個(gè)人……
沒(méi)有沒(méi)有沒(méi)有，作者說(shuō)她不拉踩，她只是覺(jué)得如果寫(xiě)得更簡(jiǎn)潔準(zhǔn)確，對(duì)讀者會(huì)更友好。
而不是制造閱讀困難沒(méi)人愿意看的垃圾。
你看我這個(gè)表情包就是上一節(jié)說(shuō)的——“Try not to bore your readers”，所謂活學(xué)活用！嘿嘿~
下面看作者精心挑選的三個(gè)漏洞百出的例子：
Adoptive cell transfer (ACT) immunotherapy is based on the ex vivo selection of tumor-reactive lymphocytes, and their activation and numerical expression before reinfusion to the autologous tumor-bearing host.
遇見(jiàn)這種每個(gè)詞都不懂連在一起更不懂的句子，我第一時(shí)間挑自己毛病：
你怎么不好好學(xué)習(xí)！句子都看不懂！詞匯量太不行了吧！滾滾滾去學(xué)習(xí)！
當(dāng)然一般來(lái)說(shuō)，我不太能遇到這種問(wèn)題，
因?yàn)槭紫任也惶凑撐?#xff0c;
其次，我直接扔彩云小譯/谷歌翻譯。
咳咳。不過(guò)作者說(shuō)了！不是讀者的問(wèn)題！不是讀者的問(wèn)題！不是讀者的問(wèn)題！這哥們寫(xiě)的不行！
到處用名詞！亂丟術(shù)語(yǔ)！
注意例句里加粗的名詞，（偶本來(lái)感覺(jué)很高大上滴說(shuō)），作者說(shuō)了不好！
我被Kristin老師這手先聲奪人震住了，后面我一定好好學(xué)習(xí)。【博主嘴角留下悔恨的淚水】
老師如此教導(dǎo)：
你寫(xiě)的時(shí)候先問(wèn)問(wèn)自己：
1.好懂嗎？2.讓人享受嗎？
(⊙o⊙)…這個(gè)要求著實(shí)有點(diǎn)高，享受啥的，害，不都是為了生活嗎，咱也不敢問(wèn)咱也不敢挑。
再看第二個(gè)例子：
These findings imply that the rates of ascorbate radical production and its recycling via dehydroascorbate reductatse to replenish the ascorbate pool are equivalent at the lower irradiance, but not equivalent at higher irradiance with the rate of ascorbate radical production exceeding its recycling back to ascorbate.
還是靈魂發(fā)問(wèn)：
1.能讀懂不？（…不能）
2.寫(xiě)這么一長(zhǎng)串，你獲取到信息了嗎？（…并沒(méi)有）
老師（滿(mǎn)意）：這就是因?yàn)樗麑?xiě)的不好！你看加粗這里他語(yǔ)義重復(fù)！
我：(⊙o⊙)…
老師反手拋出她的修改版本：
These findings imply that, at low irradiation, ascorbate radicals are produced and recycled at the same rate, but at high irradiation, they are produced faster than they can be recycled back to ascorbate.
臥槽，我好像能看懂了！老師牛批！！！
就是嘛，好好的人話非要搞成看不到的亞子！這樣多清爽！
正所謂：刪繁就簡(jiǎn)三秋樹(shù)，領(lǐng)異標(biāo)新二月花！舒適~
老師總結(jié)這門(mén)課的要點(diǎn)：
1.復(fù)雜的思想和內(nèi)容不需要復(fù)雜的言語(yǔ)來(lái)表述；
2.科技文就是要讓人看得開(kāi)心~
順便揭露這種亂象的真相：
“My professor friend told me that in his academic world, ‘publish or perish’ is really true. He doesn’t care if nobody reads it or understands it as long as it’s published.”
From: Anne Ku. “The joys and pains of writing and editing,” Le Bon Journal, 2003
這種得罪同行的話原也不會(huì)輕易說(shuō)的，標(biāo)明原作者就行 。
Module 1.3 Overview: principles of effective writing
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis. Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
這段話是一個(gè)集大成者，值得反復(fù)學(xué)習(xí)討論：
1.使用名詞替代動(dòng)詞，造成語(yǔ)句蠢鈍；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis. Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
2.模糊用詞（vague words）需要盡量避免；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has …. Therefore, molecular species that can ….
該詞所指過(guò)于廣泛
3.不必要的專(zhuān)業(yè)用語(yǔ)和縮寫(xiě)；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression, including gliomagenesis.
miR并沒(méi)有節(jié)省多少字母，且RNA本身就已經(jīng)是縮寫(xiě)了
gliomagenesis
其實(shí)我覺(jué)得這種錯(cuò)誤經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)在非英語(yǔ)母語(yǔ)的研究人員的論文中。我們習(xí)慣于先寫(xiě)母語(yǔ)，再用翻譯器翻譯，最后修改，這樣就會(huì)因?yàn)閷?duì)用詞的把握不恰當(dāng)，或者對(duì)于縮寫(xiě)習(xí)慣的不熟悉，而產(chǎn)生錯(cuò)誤。
要注意避免這個(gè)問(wèn)題。
4.被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)的不恰當(dāng)使用；
Dysregulation of physiologic microRNA (miR) activity has been shown to play an important role in tumor initiation and progression.這里沒(méi)有用被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)的必要性。
5.主謂間隔太遠(yuǎn)，不利于閱讀。
Therefore, molecular species that can regulate miR activity on their target RNAs without affecting the expression of relevant mature miRs may play equally relevant roles in cancer.
主語(yǔ)和謂語(yǔ)之間嵌套從句。
修改后：
Changes in microRNA expression play a role in cancer, including glioma. Therefore, events that disrupt microRNAs from binding to their target RNAs may also promote cancer.
總結(jié)：
1.刪除不必要的文字；
2.使用主動(dòng)形態(tài)（active voice）而非被動(dòng)語(yǔ)句：subject+verb+object;
3.盡量使用動(dòng)詞而非名詞，并且注意不要讓謂語(yǔ)淹沒(méi)在長(zhǎng)句中。
個(gè)人理解：雖然我們認(rèn)為好像比起名詞，動(dòng)詞顯得沒(méi)那么高級(jí)，但是文章追求的是可讀性，并不追求晦澀難懂。用最簡(jiǎn)單語(yǔ)句做出最準(zhǔn)確的表達(dá)，才是我們真正要追求的。我們要從誤區(qū)中走出來(lái)。駢文驪句固然優(yōu)美，卻不是實(shí)用性的最佳選擇，更會(huì)隔絕受眾。而“逸馬殺犬于道”，雖平鋪直訴，但地點(diǎn)人物事件俱全，干練簡(jiǎn)潔，也能傳頌千年。
Module 1.4: Cut the clutter
The secret of good writing is to strip every sentence to its cleanest components. Every word that serves no function, every long word that could be a short word, every adverb that carries the same meaning that’s already in the verb, every passive construction that leaves the reader unsure of who is doing what—these are the thousand and one adulterants that weaken the strength of a sentence. And they usually occur in proportion to the education and rank.
—— William Zinsser in On Writing Well, 1976
作者借這句引用提到刪去冗雜的幾個(gè)要點(diǎn)：
無(wú)意義的語(yǔ)句；過(guò)長(zhǎng)可簡(jiǎn)化的語(yǔ)句；已由動(dòng)詞體現(xiàn)的副詞；不合時(shí)宜的被動(dòng)語(yǔ)句……
舉例：
1.This paper provides a review of the basic tenets of cancer biology study design, using as examples studies that illustrate the methodologic challenges or that demonstrate successful solutions to the difficulties inherent in biological research.
This paper reviews cancer biology study design, using examples that illustrate specific challenges and solutions.
2.As it is well known, increased athletic activity has been related to a profile of lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure levels, and improved muscular and cardio-respiratory performance.
Increased athletic activity is associated with lower cardiovascular risk, lower blood pressure, and improved fitness.
Increased athletic activity lowers cardiovascular risk and blood pressure, and improves fitness. (stronger level of evidence)
3.The experimental demonstration is the first of its kind and is a proof of principle for the concept of laser driven particle acceleration in a structure loaded vacuum.
The experiment provides the first proof of principle of laser-driven particle acceleration in a structure-loaded vacuum.
刪除非必要的單詞：
1.警覺(jué)&&無(wú)情；
2.試試看刪除之后是否能表達(dá)愿意。
Brain injury incidence shows two peak periods in almost all reports: rates are
the highest in young people and the elderly.
Brain injury incidence peaks in the young and the elderly.
文章中常見(jiàn)的雜亂表述：
1.無(wú)用且讓讀者感覺(jué)沉重的話
? As it is well known
? As it has been shown
? It can be regarded that
? It should be emphasized that
2.意思模糊的單詞
? basic tenets of
? methodologic
? important
3.可以縮短的詞組和單詞
? muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
| a mjor of | most |
| a number of | many |
| are of the same opinion | agree |
| less frequently | rare |
| all three of the | three |
| give rise to | cause |
| Due to the fact that | affect |
| have an effect on | affect |
| based on the assumption that | if |
The expected prevalence of mental retardation, based on the assumption that intelligence is normally distributed, is about 2.5%.
The expected prevalence of mental retardation, if intelligence is normally distributed, is 2.5%.
4.非必要的術(shù)語(yǔ)和縮寫(xiě)
? muscular and cardiorespiratory performance
? Gliomagenesis
? miR
5.重復(fù)的單詞或從句
? studies/examples
? illustrate/demonstrate
? challenges/difficulties
? successful solutions
A robust cell-mediated immune response is necessary, and deficiency in this response predisposes an individual towards active TB.
Deficiency in T-cell-mediated immune response predisposes an individual to active TB.
6.可刪除的副詞
very, really, quite, basically, generally, …
Module 1.5：Cut the clutter, more tricks
1.不使用否定句（not）
| not honest | dishonest |
| not harmful | safe |
| not important | unimportant |
| does not have | lacks |
| did not remember | forgot |
| did not pay attention to | ignored |
| did not succeed | failed |
? She was not often right. —> She was usually wrong.
? She did not want to perform the experiment incorrectly. —> She wanted to perform the experiment correctly.
? They did not believe the drug was harmful. —> They believed the drug was safe.
2.不使用“there are/there is”
? There was a long line of bacteria on the plate. —> Bacteria lined the plate.
? There are many physicists who like to write. —> Many physicists like to write.
? The data confirm that there is an association between vegetables and cancer.
—> The data confirm an association between vegetables and cancer.
? There are many ways in which we can arrange the pulleys.
—> We can arrange the pulleys in many ways.
3.刪去無(wú)用的介詞
? The meeting happened on Monday. —> The meeting happened Monday.
? They agreed that it was true. —> They agreed it was true.
Module 1.6: Practice cutting clutter
這一節(jié)是練習(xí)，我把題目整理在pdf里可以直接下載打印做練習(xí)。
鏈接：https://pan.baidu.com/s/1a8hQylR-OaSRnUHTZukh6w
提取碼：pqjj
1.Anti-inflammatory drugs may be protective for the occurrence of Alzheimer’s Disease. Clinical seizures have been estimated to occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of the neonatal population.
2.Ultimately p53 guards not only against malignant transformation but also plays a role in developmental processes as diverse as aging, differentiation, and fertility.
3.Injuries to the brain and spinal cord have long been known to be among the most
devastating and expensive of all injuries to treat medically.
4.An IQ test measures an individual’s abilities to perform functions that usually fall in the domains of verbal communication, reasoning, and performance on tasks that represent motor and spatial capabilities.
5.As we can see from Figure 2, if the return kinetic energy is less than 3.2 Up , there will be two electron trajectories associated with this kinetic energy.
答案：
1.Clinical seizures occur in 0.5% to 2.3% of newborns.
2.Besides preventing cancer, p53 also plays roles in aging, differentiation, and fertility.
3.Injuries to the brain and spinal cord are among the most devastating and expensive.
4.An IQ test measures an individual’s verbal, reasoning, or motor and spatial abilities.
5.Figure 2 shows that a return kinetic energy less than 3.2 Up yields two electron trajectories.
總結(jié)
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